How to Manage Hand-Me-Downs Without Losing Your Mind
Every mom with multiple kids faces the same dilemma: how to manage hand-me-downs effectively. You might be asking yourself, “How do I decide what to keep and what to pass on?” or “What if I end up buying more than I need?”
When you’re juggling different seasons and sizes for your kids, things can get overwhelming. But don’t worry, you can bring order to this chaos with a little strategy.
In this post, I’ll walk you through my personal approach to managing hand-me-downs and offer tips to keep your kids’ wardrobes organized without breaking the bank.
Decluttering kids’ clothes is one of the top requests I get from moms, and what they need help with.
I personally believe that creating our kids’ wardrobes is about as personal as our political and religious beliefs. Seriously, it’s an emotionally charged topic in the decluttering world for a lot of different reasons. Those reasons are all deeply personal.
I believe this is such an emotionally charged topic because it’s overwhelming. So many moms (maybe even you since you’re reading this) are completely overwhelmed by laundry. The piles, the never ending dirty clothes and process of washing, drying, putting away. It has literally brought me to tears before because it was so overwhelming.
Another reason it’s so emotionally charged is because it is confusing.
There is just so much of it. We have to consider so many factors. Kids’ ages, seasons, sizes, various needs, potential just in case and future scenarios (and siblings). Guilt associations because we were gifted them in the form of hand me downs. It’s confusing to know what to keep and not keep, or how much, and for how long.
It’s also just a very personal journey.
Often times the clothes we have, buy and keep are closely tied to our money stories. Were we broke and could only afford second hand. There is nothing wrong with this by the way, but if you’re like me I had a lot of shame surrounding this.
We want people to think we are financially secure so we spend way too much on brand new clothes.
Maybe you grew up poor so feel the need to keep them all, or compulsively thrift shop and have way too many. We remember when our kids were teeny tiny and wearing the outfits and it’s hard to let go of.
Variety, or feel pressure from our social circles to have an outfit for every occasion and the list goes on and on.
It’s an emotional process, not a practical one.
Decluttering kid’s clothes is not simple for a lot of reasons, and it is actually not a practical process – it’s an emotional one.
In my own personal journey in decluttering, and coaching hundreds of moms through this process I have learned some universal truths about decluttering clothes. There are also some universal myths. I’ll call them “fact and fiction” just for fun in here.
I believe that as mothers we should not accept that overwhelming laundry is a way of life.
It’s common, but that doesn’t mean it’s normal or that it has to be that way forever. I know because I have five kids, and I don’t have laundry piles and I very rarely fall behind.
No, we don’t wear the same things over and over.
Yes, I splurge on the cute matching little girl outfits for my youngest two daughters (and sometimes the oldest one wants to match too).
Laundry fact #1
Too much clothing is your main issue, not “not enough”. We see it when we get disappointed that consignment stores don’t take our very nice, basically new, hardly ever worn clothing because they already have too much.
There is evidence of this by the very hard reality that most of us are drowning in hand me downs from well meaning friends and family. Many of us have been the scapegoat for that family member downsizing their stored clothes into our home. Or maybe you have gifted your 3 bins of clothes you haven’t opened in three years to a friend.
I know this makes me sound like a sour patch about hand me downs. To be clear, I am not against generosity, and making good use out of perfectly good items. I have just seen enough to know that as a society we have a huge imbalance of supply and demand. We demand more than we can ever possibly use.
How do I think we change this? We view clothing as a consumable item – because they are.
Clothes are not meant to last forever.
If we buy less with the intention of wearing them out, overall consumption levels would decrease. So will laundry burden for moms.
Laundry fiction #1
Weather, seasons and geography does not mean and automatic death sentence for you and your laundry situation. In the past seven years I have lived in Alaska, Florida, Idaho, SoCal. Now I am in the midwest and you do not need to be overwhelmed by laundry if you want to be prepared for seasons.
This is probably the most commonly held belief about clothes. So common in fact that even my friends who lived in SoCal with me, said they had too many clothes to be prepared for the weather. The weather that is always perfect. That my friend is telling – this myth has been busted.
Now, where I live yesterday it was 80. Today it is 38 and last night it dipped below freezing. I understand weather. What I understand even more is being strategic and intentional with how I buy my kids’ clothes.
Laundry fact #2
Without an inventory of what you have, it will never really work for you. Especially if you have multiple kids, and are trying to save what you have for the younger (or future) kids. I know because I have tried.
What would happen is boxes, bins and bags stacked in a closet, under the bed or in the basement. Unlabeled, unsure of what it was – sizes, seasons. It was just in there.
The worst part about that? I was buying in advance and saving it all to save me time and money. Because I wasn’t keeping track of what I had I would forget what I had, pull it out at the wrong time, miss the size/season. Then I would still have to buy more.
Keeping an inventory is essential.
Laundry fiction #2
You need to have clothes for every single occasion, event, or function. The fact might be that you WANT them, which is okay. But to drown in laundry because you feel societal pressure is not worth it. You don’t need outfits for every holiday. It’s okay to repeat church outfits.
If you want to have that kind of variety though, enjoy it! Sometimes I do feel extra extra and want to splurge on a cute matching mom and me (times three because three girls) outfit. But it’s because I want to.
So how do you start deciding what to keep and not keep?
Ask yourself what purpose you want the clothes in your life to serve. I know it sounds kind of silly but really? How are your wardrobes going to align with your values? Remember when I said this is an emotional process? It is.
For my older kids (tweens and a teen) the clothes we buy them are a creative expression and extension of their personalities. That’s an important purpose for kids coming into their own.
For my toddlers and babies the clothes I buy are to keep them clothed, and are aligned with my values of being a better and more mindful consumer. And for me to have my last hurrah of fun with all the cute and super extra girl outfits while they still let me do all the choosing of their clothes.
What is the perfect strategy for managing hand-me-downs?
Managing hand-me-downs means organizing and deciding which clothing items to keep for future use and which to pass on or donate.
In other words: It’s about finding a balance between keeping useful items and avoiding clutter in your home.
The added benefit is that it helps you save money and keep your home clutter-free.
The Problem: Hand-Me-Downs and Seasonal Confusion
As moms, we strive to be resourceful and avoid waste, so we save every piece of clothing that’s too small for one child, thinking it will be perfect for the next. But then, the reality hits:
- Our kids are different sizes in different seasons.
- We open a box only to find the clothes are no longer in good condition.
- We buy new clothes, adding to the ever-growing stockpile.
So, how do we deal with this without losing our sanity?
My Personal Tips for Managing Hand-Me-Downs
1. Avoid Storing Clothes for “Some Day”
If you have only one child and no definite plans for the next, don’t turn your home into a storage unit. Storing clothes for a future child that may or may not come soon is just not practical. Your home should be a place for living, not for storing endless boxes of clothing.
2. Don’t Keep Clothes for Long Age Gaps
If your kids are more than two years apart, and they’re the same gender and season, reconsider keeping all those clothes. Storing clothes for years is not only a hassle but also unnecessary. Babies and young children accumulate clothing fast, and friends and family will offer you more when the time comes.
3. Embrace the Joy of New Clothes
Allow yourself to enjoy buying new clothes for your little ones. Baby clothes are adorable and can be fun to shop for. You don’t have to spend a fortune; you can find great deals and still keep within your budget. Buying new clothes also lets you cater to each child’s unique style and personality.
4. Less is More
You really don’t need 30 pairs of pants for a two-year-old. Fewer clothes actually mean less laundry. With a solid base of 7-10 outfits per child, you’ll find that you rarely run out of clean clothes. Having too many clothes can overwhelm you, making laundry a daunting task.
The Takeaway
Every family’s situation is different, so there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. But remember, saving every single piece of clothing for the next child often doesn’t work out due to gender differences, seasonal changes, and age gaps. Give yourself permission to let go of the excess and keep only what’s truly necessary.
Pro Tip
Stop splurging on $50 baby outfits and then being upset when you can only sell them for $5. Practical, affordable purchases mean you can enjoy buying new clothes and easily pass on or donate the old ones. It’s better for your budget and your peace of mind.
Comments
2 responses to “Hand me downs management for moms”
As economical as it seems to hold on to things, I totally agree with you. I had a Halloween baby, then three years later a spring baby (both girls)….there were a few hand me downs that were faves. Then 15 months later a summer boy! All new stuff for him. FF six years after him and another girl (summer). There’s no way to have saved stuff from one to the next. I’m all for sharing with friends and family though! 😉
Absolutely agree with saving for the next family!! Thanks the reply!