Guilt is when you feel like you did something wrong, or bad but it doesn’t actually mean that you did.
Mom guilt is when you feel like you are doing something wrong as a mom, and aren’t.
In my course Motherhood Simplified we have an entire section dedicated to simplifying your expectations. You get clear on what you have to do, and don’t have to do. Then release all those unfair labels and demands you put on yourself. This episode, and blog post, is a condensed version of what you get inside the course. Check it out here.
As a new mom I felt like I had to do all the things, and have all the things. And felt guilty if I didn’t.
I thought my life needed to be a Pinterest board, and my home needed to be a high quality toy store/lesson plan.
The guilt I had for never having that reality was crushing.
Not only did I have those idealistic expectations deeply embedded into my mind, I also had a ton of every day responsibilities that had to be done.
Work, cooking, sports, schooling, not to mention all that goes into raising children in general.
It seemed like this guilt was just an accepted part of mom life.
I was also doing it in a community of moms who had to do the same thing. We just don’t have “villages” like we used to. Trying to create or find one is just another thing we have to “do” and it’s exhausting.
The guilt and isolation of motherhood is a combination that can bring you to your knees.
Then there was the work of all the clutter to manage, which is a totally different story but what I want you to hear today is that a lot of my guilt stemmed from my clutter.
Guilt that I needed it all, and still didn’t have enough to match my ideals.
More guilt that I couldn’t use it all. Keep it organized.
Guilt that I resented all that stuff because of the amount of work it caused for me.
Guilt for how it made me so disconnected from my kids.
So, why is mom guilt even a thing?
Here are my best guesses:
- Social media.
- Societal norms/messages.
- Women’s rights… religions… family dynamics and how we were raised, etc.
Don’t let older generations fool you into thinking they played and crafted their kids 24/7 while homeschooling and working from home.
They didn’t have Pinterest, dollar stores, mom blogs, parenting blogs, Instagram, etc etc.
They had communities to lean on, family units that weren’t so isolated, an economy that allowed for one parent to stay home easily.
It was different. Their heads would explode if they had all the stuff being thrown at them that we do.
So how do we let this guilt go?
Release the things that are causing your guilt. It’s too hard to say “release your guilt”. If it were that easy we would have done it by now.
Look at your life through a critical lens, and figure out where the guilt is coming from.
Declutter your home, your social media, your to do list, your pointless obligations, the things you don’t even want to be doing.
My course Motherhood Simplified shows you how to do this exactly.
[0:38] – definition of guilt
[1:49] – personal story time
[6:46] – how do we untangle it?
[8:42] – motherhood simplified course
[9:08] – our overwhelm compared to past generations
[11:14] – a condensed version of all the tips