Mom guilt and clutter… You're not a bad mom, you just have too much stuff to manage.
Modern moms almost always have some form of mom guilt to deal with. This mom guilt often makes moms tell stories about who they are, rather than what they are dealing with. This podcast episode is to help you re-frame the way you view yourself, so that you can stop feeling guilty and start finding the strengths in yourself.
And to be clear, we are not just dismissing the overwhelm, or exhaustion you feel. Really we are digging down to the root of your feelings of guilt so you can excavate them and actually begin to feel better.
Let's talk about some ways you might experience mom guilt and how we can tangibly change these experiences.
If you tell yourself you are lazy.
You're not lazy, you're likely just overwhelmed. Because you are overwhelmed you probably freeze up, not knowing what to do or focus on first. Whether it's what to declutter first, or if you should pay attention to your kids or do the dishes first. It all feels urgent and important, and like it needs to be done ASAP. But then you just freeze and do none of it, unable to make a decision.
Here's a solution to try:
Ask yourself how can you break down these tasks into tiny doable action steps? Just pick ONE thing to do first, just one. And do that. No matter what you choose, it will be okay and it will build momentum.
It might sound silly or like it won't work, but this is a strategy we have used in the MS group for years and it's surprisingly simple and effective.
If you tell yourself you're just not motivated enough.
You're probably just exhausted and running on fumes. The modern mom carries the weight of doing a lot of work. Arguably more than any other generation, because of the way our society is designed. We are supposed to work like we don't have kids, and raise kids as if we don't work. It really is absurd, especially the way it causes to much mom guilt for us.
Even if you are a stay at home mom, the isolation and expectation to be “on” 24/7 is a lot to carry. Can you imagine asking any other profession to work 24/7? I don't think so.
Now, we can't just change the societal structure, but there is a lot we can do that will help alleviate our mom guilt.
Alleviating your workload is step one. And then, adding in things you love is step two. But let's focus on step one because since you are here I am assuming you need some kind of help decluttering your home and reducing the workload inside it.
Here are some questions to ask yourself. These help you understand how much you really are doing, and ways to take some of that off your plate. And, decluttering is my favorite way to reduce your workload. Check out my decluttering courses here to get more support.
How can you reduce your workload?
How can you advocate for yourself?
What can you say no to?
What can you ask for help with?
If you say “I'm too unorganized.”
You're probably not, you just have too much stuff and it's impossible for anyone to organize too much. Ask yourself these questions…
How much of this stuff is actually supporting your family and not just creating more work for you?
What can you get rid of?