You know all those moms who do it all. Well, I know their secret and it’s not what you think it is.
I’ll be totally honest and LOVE being the one who appears to do it all. I am high energy, high achiever and love to challenge myself. This is the thing, though, I don’t do it all even if it might appear that way.
We eliminate the unnecessary, invaluable and time/energy suckers and focus on what matters MOST to us. That is the secret. It is that simple and that complicated.
The number one way moms seem to do it all, but don’t
They give themselves less to do!! The simplest example of this I can find is me, mother of five kids who homeschools and has a clean house.
On the outside it looks like I am doing it all. However, I have massively decluttered so much that I only have to do about 30 minutes of maintenance cleaning and putting away a day.
I have less messes to clean up, so it looks like I spend a lot of time cleaning, but I don’t.
This is the same for how we homeschool. I know what they need to learn to stay academically sound. We do that, and then the rest is time spent doing what we love and applying in a real world setting.
I am not cleaning my house all day. Nor am I homeschooling all day.
Give yourself less to do. Say no to the frivolous tasks that just drain you. You can say no to so many things…
- Pinterest perfect birthday parties
- Volunteering for sports or in classroms (yes, I said it. You don’t have to be in the PTA in order to be a good mom)
- Obligations that you don’t have time for (church volunteer, play dates, extra work, parties, heck, even crafts if you’re not a crafty person!)
- Excess messes and clutter that make your daily life harder and busier
We automatically say YES to so many pointless things. You have full permission to start saying no more often so that you can do it all. And by that I mean doing all that is important to you.
The second way moms do it all is by asking for help, and delegating
Moms need community. We have moved so far away from having a village mindset and it puts this insane pressure on us to run our households as a one person show, when really it takes an entire team to do the amount of work you’re trying to do in one day.
Ask for help. Give help. Exchange help. Delegate.
Hire help.
The moms who are doing it all, aren’t doing it alone. If they are, trust me, they are on the struggle bus and on the verge of a breakdown. I know because it’s me.
Here are some examples of how to ask for help and to delegate.
- Create a carpool
- Grocery delivery/pick up
- Meal services (hello fresh, freshly, etc)
- Exchange baby sitting
- Meal swaps
- Yard maintenance
- Hire a nanny
- Hire a housekeeper
Many of these options are more affordable than we think. Especially when we factor in how much time and energy it gives us back to spend stress free with our families.
Let go of the idea that you need to do it all, and you need to do it on your own. It’s not natural for humans to operate solo. We need community.
Asking for help is healthy. It actually feels really good to say hey, I need help with this, and can help you in this way. Whether they help you give is in the form of money, or maybe by sharing a meal plan and shopping list that you’re really good at creating and other people aren’t.
Get creative in how you can give and get support. We cannot do it all alone, but if we do it together, I think we can.
Redefine what this looks like for you
This requires giving yourself so much grace. It is okay to change your mind about how you want to run your life. Especially your mom life, and especially when it comes to making it easier and more enjoyable for you.