You know that saying, “It takes a village”? I used to think it was just about survival—but now I see it as something so much more powerful.
Motherhood isn’t meant to be a solo mission. And the truth is, it’s not just me who thrives when I’m surrounded by the right people—my kids do, too.
When we build a village, we’re not just getting help.
We’re giving our children the gift of being known, loved, and guided by more than just us.
And let’s be real—there are days I won’t go the extra mile for myself.
But for them? I will, every time.
So if finding that village means my kids get to grow up feeling supported, mentored, and seen?
Sign me up.
I’m not someone who’s out here trying to collect a bunch of mom friends or pack my calendar with social stuff. I’m super introverted. I’d rather go on a walk alone or with one really good friend than spend a night playing bunco with twelve people (no offense if that’s your jam!).
But what I do crave is meaningful connection. The kind that feels solid. Grounded. The kind that shows my kids what it looks like to have good people around you—people who care, who lead by example, and who help shape you into who you’re meant to be.
That’s where women-owned mentorship comes in.
And honestly? It’s one of the most powerful, yet simple things I do as a mom.
My Daughter’s First Job, and the Mentor I Wanted For Her
If you’ve been around for a while, you’ve probably heard me mention Transcend by Heide. Heide is this incredible woman—a mom born in the Phillipines and grew up in Hawaii, an herbalist, and a maker of the most beautiful, handmade skincare and wellness products. Everything from turmeric sprays to shampoo to face wash—all from her garden, all rooted in her culture and deep wisdom.
I walked into her store about four years ago and just knew. I knew she was someone I wanted to stay connected to. We had similar values—natural living, motherhood, small business. It was easy. We didn’t become instant besties or anything, but we kept in touch. I supported her business. She supported mine. We’ve talked about getting coffee for years (still hasn’t happened, by the way 😂), but we always circle back to each other.
Recently, my daughter got her first job—with Heide.
And the other day she said to me:
“Heide is such a great mentor.”
And that’s it. That’s the whole reason I do this. That sentence was everything.
Why Having Women Mentors for Our Daughters (and Ourselves) Matters
Here’s the thing: we can’t be everything for our kids. And we’re not supposed to be.
Sometimes the best lessons come from other women—women we trust, admire, and intentionally invite into our kids’ lives.
Heide’s teaching my daughter how to sell with confidence. How to deal with difficult customers. How to work in a real-world setting. She’s teaching her what it means to show up for something you believe in.
Heide is teaching my daughter things and giving her experiences that I can’t, and for that I am so grateful. For years I imagined my daughter getting to work closely with Heide, always wondering if it would become a reality and it has. Heide, if you’re reading this, you are a gift to our family!
And then there’s Dana Malstaff—my friend and mentor who created Boss Mom. She’s built this community of moms in business, and I’ve been mentored by her myself. I’ve learned so much from her. And now? I know that when the time comes, I can connect my kids to women in that space, too. Whether it’s learning how to design something, write copy, or run a business—they’ll have those examples right in front of them.
Mentorship doesn’t need to be big or dramatic. It’s not always glamorous.
But man, it’s powerful.
How I’ve Found the Right Women Mentors (Without Forcing It)
This isn’t about collecting mom friends or micromanaging who your kids hang out with. It’s about being open, intentional, and a little strategic. Here’s what I’ve done that’s actually worked:
1. Start with a Common Interest
Heide and I didn’t become friends because our kids are the same age. (They’re not.) We connected over things we genuinely love—gardening, natural remedies, motherhood, homemade everything, being women in business.
If you want to find real connection, look for shared values. Books. Nature. A mission. Volunteering. Even a mutual obsession with good skincare or a podcast you both love.
It’s kind of like dating—you’ve got to see who you click with. And sometimes, you just won’t. That’s okay. Keep showing up anyway.
2. Put Yourself Out There (In Ways That Feel Good)
I know. It’s uncomfortable. Especially when you’re tired or stretched thin or feel like no one gets you. But you don’t need to show up everywhere. Just pick one or two places that feel natural and go there consistently.
Sometimes I’d pop into Heide’s store every week. Sometimes not for a year. But the relationship stayed.
Support the people you care about. Share their stuff. Send your kid to their camp or workshop. Text them when they cross your mind. You don’t need to force anything—but you do need to be intentional.
3. Ask For What You Need
When I say “ask,” I don’t mean walking up to someone and saying, “Hey, can you be my child’s mentor?” (Awkward.)
With Heide, I just said:
“My daughter would love to work here. I know she could learn so much from you.”
That’s all it took.
You can say things like, “Would you be open to letting my daughter shadow you?” or “My son would love to spend time with your family—he really looks up to your kids.”
Or even, “Hey, could my kid come mow your lawn and learn a little work ethic while he’s at it?”
Be creative. But also—ask. You’re showing your kids what it looks like to be brave enough to build the community you want.
If You’re Looking for a Space Like This…
Go check out Boss Mom Plus. If you’re into business or creativity, and you’re craving friendships with other moms who are actually doing the thing, that’s the place.
Dana built it for women like us—women who want to build something of their own while being amazing moms.
No competition. No judgment. Just real collaboration, friendship, and mentorship.
I’ve learned so much from that space, and I know I’ll be encouraging my kids to tap into that community when they’re ready too.
At the End of the Day…
Motherhood isn’t just about cleaning up messes or teaching manners or making school lunches.
It’s about guiding our kids into relationships that will help shape their lives.
Showing them how to build real friendships.
It’s about surrounding them with women who model confidence, generosity, and integrity.
And that’s exactly why I’m so grateful for women mentors like Heide—and why I’ll keep being intentional about helping my kids find theirs, too.
